Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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