Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize