hotel room ftw
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
