YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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