He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
