Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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