can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
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His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
whose parrot is this?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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