dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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