Princesses don't give blow jobs
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
