no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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