This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Girls should come with a carfax report
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
