my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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