I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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