that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
