I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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