Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize