there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
