Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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