I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
