Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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