ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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