her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
