Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My penis needs a shock collar
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
