so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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