Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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