Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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