piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
