I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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