Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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