I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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