I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
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can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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