plz talk dirty to me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
