Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
