i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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