I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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