2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
