Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize