It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
