You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Please don't give away my fajitas
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
