Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
