Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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