if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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