Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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