she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
vagina is talking i cant
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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