Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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