Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
