Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
