im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
