Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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