I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize