Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
