I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
