Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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