im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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