Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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