I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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