letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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