Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
