I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
