butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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