I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
NoShamevember. You game?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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