PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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