He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
